I feel it all.

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I feel things, deeply.

This morning, I was quite literally overwhelmed with joy.

I was completely awestruck by the beauty of everything around me.

My heart was so full that it hurt. I felt like I couldn’t handle it, like it was too much to take in all at once.

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Awake at 5:08 a.m. and out of the house by 5:35 a.m. so that I could hike to watch the sunrise. 

I had no idea of the experience that was out there waiting for me.

As I stood there, alone, watching the sun peak through and brighten up a hillside of wildflowers,

I fell in love.

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Sometimes, I just feel it all … and I feel it heavy.

Like Water

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We move like water, cutting our path, picking up things along the way that tumble with us for a time, things that reshape us as we reshape them, and we let go of the things that are too heavy for us to carry. Our route is determined by the objects we encounter along the way.  Some things stand steady before us, rooted firmly as barricades that we must find our way around. We adapt, we adjust, and we make choices on where to go next. We are strengthened by storms that add volume to our pursuits and sometimes fury to our determination to continue on and push forward.

We have hopes of one day ending up at a place where we can empty into something larger than ourselves; give ourselves to something greater. We seek the moment where we can stop rushing; the moment where we can just let go and float freely. We think, once we find that place that we are free and for a time, we are, until we get recirculated through the system once again. That is life. It moves fast, slow, fast, fast, slow. We are like a rushing river, bound for the sea.

 

Homemade Granola Bars Recipe

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I posted a photo recently of some homemade granola bars to my Instagram account and a few friends asked for the recipe, so here goes:

Wrap in wax paper and keep frozen or refrigerated until ready to eat.  - Enjoy!

The “Everything but the Kitchen Sink” bar.

SUPER EASY, SUPER TASTY HOMEMADE (refined sugar-free and organic) GRANOLA/ENERGY BARS:

All I really have to say is: Take a bunch of tasty stuff that you love, throw it in a bowl, mix, press in a pan, bake, freeze, and …. you’re done. It’s really just that simple, but here’s what I put in mine. You can add, subtract, substitute, omit, or do whatever you please with yours.

DRY INGREDIENTS:

NOTE: I don’t measure when I make these, so I apologize for not listing measurements. These are so forgiving that you can add as much or as little of just about anything. Also, it depends on how many you want to make. Just make sure your base ingredients (oats, rice puffs, or cereal/granola) make up the majority of the recipe. Otherwise, adjust everything else to your pallet/preference.

  • Oats (Bob’s Red Mill organic, whole – NOT the instant kind). Available gluten-free too, if you want to make a GF version.
  • Rice puffs (or Kashi’s high-protein Go-Lean Crunch Cereal – or a pre-made dry granola from the bulk section – watch out for the ones high in fat and sugar though)
  • Coconut Flour (maybe 1/8 to 1/4 of a cup or so). Not necessary, but adds some weight to the bars.
  • Peanuts
  • Walnuts, chopped
  • Almonds, chopped or whole (plain or roasted, it’s up to you, just don’t get the salted/flavored kind)
  • Sunflower seeds
  • Chia seeds
  • Raisins
  • Cherries
  • Dates, Chopped
  • Chocolate Chips
  • A dash of sea salt (about 1/2 teaspoon or so)

WET INGREDIENTS:

  • Almond Butter (or peanut butter)
  • Majool Dates, chopped
  • Agave (you could also use honey, maple syrup, or brown rice syrup).
  • 1 teaspoon almond extract*
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract*
  • **You can add a small amount of coconut oil as well, if you’d like.

DIRECTIONS, TWO WAYS (BAKED & UNBAKED)

UNBAKED:

  1. Pick a dish that fits the quantity you’re making (a 9″x9″ baking dish, a 9″x13″ baking dish, or a baking sheet with higher sides). Line it with parchment paper.
  2. Mix all dry ingredients in a BIG bowl.
  3. Combine wet ingredients in a separate bowl.
  4. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients in about three batches. Stir with a spatula or wooden spoon until dry ingredients are moist but not wet. You want things to be sticking together. Too wet? Add more dry ingredients. Too dry? Add more wet. It’s not rocket science.
  5. Pour mixture into your pan. It will be STICKY. You will want to coat your hands with some coconut oil (canola would work too), and press the mixture down as tightly as you can, making sure to get into the corners.
  6. You can now place the dish in the freezer for them to firm up. DO NOT FREEZE at this point though. You still need to cut them.
  7. When they are firm, remove the ENTIRE recipe by lifting it out of the pan by the parchment paper. Cut the bars with a sharp knife into about 2″ by 2″ squares. I  cut all the way through the paper. That way, when I stack them to store them, they already have little parchment paper “dividers” between the layers.
  8. You can now wrap them in wax paper and store in an airtight container in the freezer, removing them as needed or store them in the refrigerator.

BAKED: If you want a chewier, more “fluffy” version of a granola bar… do this:

Add the equivalent of 1 to 2 eggs worth of egg substitute (Ener-g egg replacer, vegan) to the mixture. I wouldn’t recommend adding real egg. I think about packing these up in my pack for really long hikes or bike rides, or camping/backpacking adventures, etc and I don’t like the idea of having real egg in there. Plus, the bake time isn’t very long, so I’m not sure real egg would have enough time/heat to cook all the way. Take it or leave it.

-DIRECTIONS: Follow all of the same directions through #5 above, but then put them in a pre-heated 250* oven for about 12 to 15 minutes (you don’t want them to brown, you just want them to cook slightly). Remove and let cool and then continue with steps #6-8 above.

*Note: If using chocolate chips in the baked version, they will melt. So, the texture of the chocolate in the bars won’t be the same as the unbaked version. The chocolate sections will firm back up again after you put them in the freezer though. Be warned in either case that if you choose to put chocolate chips in your bars that if you leave them out or carry them in warm conditions, they will become a bit sticky/messy as the chocolate melts. Just keep them wrapped in wax paper and you should be fine.

TADA!!! Done.

OTHER OPTIONS: You can add just about anything… 

  • Other “base” ingredients: Oat bran, wheat germ, flax seeds
  • Fruit: Any dried fruit (try to find the ones that are naturally sweet, without added sugar), or dried coconut.
  • Nuts/Seeds: Macadamia, Pistachio, Pecan… whatever you like. Any nut/seed butter can be used.
  • Spices: Cinnamon, cardamom, ginger, pumpkin pie spice
  • Protein powder: a plain soy or whey protein powder could be added.

The point is, you can customize this one million ways to Sunday, just add whatever you like.

HELPFUL HINTS/CHEATS:

– It’s easier and most of the time cheaper to find your favorite trail mix in the bulk section and just buy that to add to the mix, instead of buying each individual item. I’ve never tried to add any trail mix containing yogurt-covered or chocolate-covered items though, so I’m not sure how those would work out – I assume they would be tasty, but I would recommend going with the no-bake version if you use those.

IDEAS that I’ve had for other bars (but have yet to try). 

The “German Chocolate Cake” bar: oats, dates, agave, coconut oil, chocolate chips, dried cherries, finely shredded coconut and a pinch of sea salt. You could even add some raw cocoa powder for a more chocolate based bar.

The Amaretto: Oats, dates, agave, almond butter, almonds, dried cherries, a little amaretto or almond extract, and a pinch of sea salt.

The “Elvis”: Oats, agave, peanut butter, mashed banana (or home-made dried banana chips), chocolate chips, and a little vanilla extract. Want to get crazy? Add a small amount of bacon grease as your oil. Weird? Probably. Tasty? Probably.

Bananas Foster: Oats, agave, dates, mashed bananas, molasses, rum extract.

Black Forest Bar: Oats, agave, dates, almond butter, dark chocolate, dried cherries, almond.

…. I could go on and on.

Seeking Denouement

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I don’t know why I’m writing poetry lately. I have no idea what I’m doing, but for some reason I feel compelled, so I’m going with it. It’s satisfying to write in short quips, even if the final product is terrible. I’m not overthinking these, I’m just. . . writing. I will get back to normal blogs soon, but for now, here’s this:

Seeking Denouement

Time worn, weathered and torn

dampstained and distressed

a brilliant, nonfiction mess

that offers no annotation

no line of logic, reason, or explanation

of how the events that led to this chapter

make any sense in relation to what will come after

on delicate pages, yet to be stained

by the antagonist’s plan, which is yet to be framed

in context with character’s lives that tangle together, intertwined

in a so far nonsensical story line

that is full of errors, which will remain unedited

with an overall theme yet to be vetted

but this book, while shaken, is hard bound

and some day, denouement will be found

Aside

Tomorrow I will

pick up the dirty clothes, strewn across the floor

Tomorrow I will

tell myself I won’t again, but do once more what I did before

tomorrow I will

ask the better parts of me that lie in wait when they shall be

tomorrow I will

look through the eyes of the “other” to see what it is they see

tomorrow I will

talk myself down again to try and calm my anxious heart

tomorrow I will

begin again at the beginning, looking for a brand new start

tomorrow I will

let go, give in,  give up, and breathe

tomorrow I will

remember that the only thing keeping me from me is me

tomorrow I will . . .

Tomorrow I will…